we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
