Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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