i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
