is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
