you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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