Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
