I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
