I'm drive I can fine osifer
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
