:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
