I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
