nut hugger
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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