Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
