the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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