i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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