Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
