why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
