Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize