Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
