Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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