how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he was CRYING into my vagina
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
