but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
