i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize