Don't make out with my wife yet
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
