Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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