for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Welp...herpes.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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