Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
