Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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