she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
