Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
