you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
