Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
