No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
