Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
