she woke up with a sticky ear
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You don't make any sense
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