I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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