But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize