I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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