Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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