in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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