Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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