Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
