Jerry, you need to find god
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
