More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Can Purell be used as lube?
i was born a porn star she said
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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