Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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