Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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