Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize