You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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