I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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