My hand turned me down
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
