you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
