Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
