Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i think i have two assholes
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize