turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Are we still banned from the library?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
