Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
