we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
