One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I can't put those talents on a resume
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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