Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I don't think brook has ever known best
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
