Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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