the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
