did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Randomize
