i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My balls are so social today.
My pussy is not your playground.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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