ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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