I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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