can we get nightvision for the apartment?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
