"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
