If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
