My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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