Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
