Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
