The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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